Keith & Tami Kiser

e're sure that if you're anything like us when we were teenagers, we don't have to work very hard to get your attention to talk to you about love and sexuality. Your interest is natural, healthy, and beautiful.

Unfortunately, as we know from our own experience, this interest can also be very confusing and uncomfortable.

We started to date in the ninth grade. We were rivals in the eighth-grade presidential election at our school (Keith won); a year later we "fell in love" during a boring fourth-period study hall. We'll never forget our first date on January 23, 1980. It was a simple date. Nothing fantastic. No fireworks. We saw a movie and ate a pizza together. But that simple winter night was the beginning of a seven-year friendship that resulted in our marriage in February of 1987 while we were both juniors in college.

During those seven years of dating, we had to deal with many important issues in our relationship. As our love and commitment for one another grew, sexual matters became a significant concern. We were both practicing Christians who wanted to please God with our lives and through our relationship. Thankfully, we had heard, through our youth group, many talks that taught that premarital sex was offensive to God. But this did not quite settle the matter for us because, even though God said "No," our bodies were shouting "Yes!" And it seemed to us that our bodies were screaming loudest! Not only were our bodies tempting us to proceed sexually, but the movies, music, and TV shows we watched and listened to considered it natural and good for teenagers to be sexually active. The result, for us, was a lot of confusion, pain, sin, and guilt. (Honest tip: We have learned from experience that it is not very wise to date seriously for seven years before marriage -more on that later.)

We can say, gratefully, that when we finally got married we were both virgins (only by God's grace!). We were fortunate. We finally responded to God's grace. We were on the brink of a disastrous relationship when we committed ourselves to the virtue of chastity, and continued our relationship in prayer. We decided to read a book together about maintaining sexual purity in a dating relationship. God saved our relationship and has given us a beautiful marriage.

We can't tell you how great our honeymoon was! And we won't! (This is a G-rated book!) Let's just say that it was worth the wait. Sexual impurity leading up to intercourse was destroying our dating relationship. It was only when we were committed to struggling to practice the virtue of chastity that our relationship flourished and deepened.

We tell you this story because we think that many of you can relate to our confusion, struggle, and sin. Maybe you've had premarital sex already and have experienced the emotional and spiritual pain that accompanies it. Don't despair. There is hope. This book is about hope.

Unfortunately, the dominant media culture contributes to your confusion as it did to ours. A recent cover of Time magazine summarizes that confusion. The May 24, 1994, issue depicted a teenage boy and girl staring straight ahead. Both are sporting a puzzled look. The caption reads: "KIDS, SEX AND VALUES: Just do it. Just say no. Just wear a condom. What's a kid supposed to think?"

"What is a kid supposed to think?" Sadly, that issue of Time didn't produce any conclusive answers. There are a lot of opinions floating around. We believe that what you are looking for is the truth about love and sexuality -not just another opinion. We know that once you discover the truth, you will be amazed at how beautiful it is. You will hold it close and not let go.

This book is about the truth as revealed by God through the Catholic Church. From our own struggle we've learned that it is only by listening carefully to God that we have come to discover and understand the beautiful God-given gift of our sexuality. We have discovered that it is only through obedience to our loving heavenly Father that one will experience true sexual freedom and happiness.

Through reading this book, we hope you, too, will discover that your sexuality is an incredible gift from God, a gift that needs to be protected. We think that once you discover this, you will come to really value your sexuality as a very precious gift.

Incidentally, we refer to (and also quote from) the Catechism of the Catholic Church throughout this work and use the abbreviation CCC in those instances. And if you're wondering about the slashes (/) in the biblical quotations, such as the Psalms, they indicate where new lines (sometimes called sense lines) begin. One other thing: To protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this book, the names of most of them and certain events surrounding them have been altered in one way or another, some obvious, others not so obvious.